Feel Myself

I’m gonna sleep naked tonight just to
feel myself again
I don’t know how or remember the last time my body completely belonged solely to myself.
My inner thighs have had unwanted ownership attached to them since before I knew the power of my own aura.
The power of a quick smile, a nod,
a whisper too close,
a glance from too far, too desirable?
I have been a sinner before…allowed others to cross my garden of eden and eat my forbidden fruit.
Only I am to blame. The only one to blame.
These parasites only want a taste of you baby,
the whole thing is too much, too sweet, too unfamilliar.

Don’t you realize your love is too messy and too pungent and too much like the sea sometimes?  For so long I have belonged solely to myself. I can’t help it.
Sometimes I think I drowned myself so long and so deeply in my own sorrows that it is finally time to come up
for air
and breathe without you.

all walk no talk

Who are we now anyway? We live behind masks.

Fighting to defend a image we have no idea that is being pushed upon us. I remember once when I was young, and I was told that i was ugly and I had never heard such words before. How could I be ugly and another not be? How could i be less than another? Better yet, how could somebody tell another that they are or they are not?

This is for women, my age, older, younger…aren’t you tired of sleeping with your own demons, in masks? masks of make believe, masks of unlove, masks of unattainable beauty that cannot exist externally without dedication internally. we are constantly in a fight with ourselves, whoever ‘ourselves’ is anyway now. These men, we let walk all over us, let into our hearts and souls and between our bed sheets with only the  trust and love you were taught to give the men of your dreams. Painting on our war paint aka makeup to fight another day.

Wake up. Were not dreaming or damsels in distress anymore. Look at the increase in makeup sales and the hike in clothing prices. Do you not realize we are PUPPETS. We have become so sad, I too, am guilty. but I am more tired than guilty. I am tired of having to be something, I am tired of having a conscious the size of Russia that never gets cleared. where are we supposed to go? Who do we look up to anymore? We have no one! even the Spice Girls were a sham. Screaming girl power and doing nothing about it did nothing for women, but solidify the fact that we are all walk and no talk.

 

Now to the point I really wanted to make…

It is hard to make a list of female influences in an age of the Kardashian sisters telling us how to live. I wanted to make a list of writers and women who have made it easier for me to be who I am, and always found a way to reassure me that I am worthy…even on the hardest of days. Maybe this will help spark something in you. We need to find our own role models and stop letting media tell us who we idolize. These are mine.

 

1. Lora Mathis.

She is a blogger I discovered one day stumbling through the internet at the late hours of the night. An inspiring poet. A young heart broken girl who seamlessly wrote the story of my life without ever meeting me, knowing me, acknowledging me. She is 21 and writes with the talent of a person who’s been at it for a lifetime. She is definitely someone that everyone should look out for, Self published and self motivated, she is someone we should all know and learn about.

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This is a photo of 21 year old Lora Mathis

http://lora-mathis.tumblr.com is where you can find her work.

2.  Malala Yousafzai

Malala is a blogger, female education activist and a human rights advocate. This is just a few words to describe the powerhouse that she is, and all before she is 20 years old. Malala is 17 and at the ripe age of 11, started a blog under an alias about living under Taliban law, and talked openly about things that she believed needed to be heard by outside audiences. After being heard, and interviewed she was nominated for a International Children’s Peace Prize. Unfortunately one day she was riding a bus and was shot at 3 times, and was hit once. She survived but was in critical condition and immediately taken care of.

Since that incident, it sparked a national uproar. People protested for this little girl on the other side of the world, which I think is just incredibly powerful. She has received many reputable prizes and awards for the work this young woman has done for women, girls and people everywhere. She proves that overcoming impossible obstacles is not impossible and at such a young age kinda made me want to kick my butt into gear because I’m 22 and nobody knows me yet!  She has also been on Time magazine on a list of the worlds most 100 most influential people also.

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Interesting photo I found of Malala. This was one of my favorites of her.

3.  Friends:

I’m a fond believer in the people around you being your role models and daily inspiration. Simple. I’m trying this thing where I don’t envy or encourage celebrity attention antics. Quality time with good friends helps the spirit grow fonder, so to speak. You are your truest self around them and let the real you shin through.

Vice.com, you let me down.

Earlier this week I read an article on vice.com about a generation of kids who just can’t get a grip on reality because of our nasty habits and addiction to the fast life.

We are the selfie generation. The selfish, work for the weekend and never let go of your dreams even though they are totally unrealistic and probably won’t be an astronaut generation. The spoiled and live at home eating moms spaghetti til 26 generation because you just can’t let your party days go generation.

This was the article incase you wanted to know what made me mad about it:http://www.vice.com/read/when-does-the-party-stop Continue reading

How to take great photos—even on your cell phone

Saw this on facebook this morning and loved it! It actually works.

I remember back in my “myspace” days, I used to find the brightest window in my house and stand behind the curtain so that the lighting would be perfect. And then I would photoshop out my pimples and flip the photo upside down an do all that artsy.

Thank god for selfies now.

TED Blog

8photography_tips

Taking great photos isn’t just about having a nice camera. I’m a firm believer that good photography comes from smart photographers who think creatively and know how to make the most of what they’ve got—whether they’re working with fancy DSLR or an iPhone.

On TED’s design team, where I manage TED’s Instagram account, we’re always on the lookout for beautiful, arresting images. Below are 8 non-technical, non-intimidating tips that I continue to refer to even after years of taking pictures.

  1. Keep your lens clean and your battery charged. Yes, both of these things are obvious, but they’re also very easy to forget. With my camera, I like to keep at least one extra fully-charged battery on hand, and I always keep my phone charger with me because it’s such a bummer when you want to take a photo but can’t. Phones can get especially dirty from riding around in…

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Google Map : Construction In Etobicoke 2014

I chose to do a map of the construction in Etobicoke for the year of 2014 because it affects many people around me in my program and in my community. The back-up of traffic is always an issue in the area, not only including potholes that have long gone un-kept, intersections shut down for extended periods of time, usually longer than they are supposed to be.

This map is just a tip of the iceberg. The list I found basically shows all the construction and road rejuvenation projects all over the city, but the one I chose hits closest to home and also makes it way easier to commute if you know what’s going on in the city.

Most Torontonians have no idea when it comes to when the roads they take every day are going to be shut down but this map can help a slight few maneuver their way around the local congestion and find alternative routes around the city that makes the long commute (especially in the dead cold of our unholy winter) a little bit easier.

Attached in this link is a list of all of the construction around the city. As I only chose to map my neighborhood, this list still gives detail of what is going to be happening, how long it’s going to be happening and when it will be over.

http://www1.toronto.ca/wps/portal/contentonly?vgnextoid=d9e3df03a6cf6410VgnVCM10000071d60f89RCRD

Storify Assignment 1

Last year a proposal was made to the city of Toronto to simply the daily commute for TTC riders. The proposal, you ask? A numbering system that would clearly state where you are and where you are going to put it simply. The city had mixed emotions on the project, considering costs and time and if it would somehow cut into the daily hustle and bustle of life for others, causing delays.

URL for Storify is attached below.

https://storify.com/jlinnz123/one-year-later-looking-back-at-the-changes-the-ttc

Reasons Why I Deleted Facebook

It takes a lot of strength to finally delete your Facebook.

Admit it. How many hours have you spent aimlessly scrolling through profiles of people you barely know or used to know? How many times you’ve slightly envied another, or spent a little too much time on their profile. We’re all guilty.

I felt as though I was living a lie through Facebook, for people  I barely even knew. I was a phony. I was lying to myself ultimately which lead me to finally cut the cord on my make-believe life. The content of other peoples posts that gain them popularity ultimately causes you to filter what you truly love believe it or not. The content you begin to post is a replica of the posts that others around you approve of or like.
I also have to admit my online persona was a little bit of an out of control 16 year old I couldn’t let go of. Waaaay too many drunk pics.
As a second year student of a Print and Broadcast Journalism program, I should have been scared months ago, especially since I have to start thinking about what the heck I want to make myself into after I get the paper that makes me official to get a job with the big dogs. I have deleted myself online, and it is not only a HUGE weight off of my shoulders, to post things worthy of likes. Like what is that?

People either choose to LIKE or NOT LIKE things you say. And there is TONS of websites built around this concept.
I totally understand that ONLINE is the future of journalism, but apps like Instagram and Facebook is really just belittling people and I refuse to be apart of that brainwash anymore. It creates mental health issues. Earlier this year I remember reading an article about a person who developed suicidal thoughts, depression and anxiety over not being able to take the perfect selfie, and I was like oh my god…how many times have I been there taking like 40 selfies only to edit 4 and post 1.

I am guilty too…obviously not to the same extent as Danny Bowman but the same negative behavior in myself occurred, without a way to stop myself from achieving what had probably been captured 20..or 30 photos before. When did we start to hate ourselves so much? I don’t know.

I’ve since then deleted all of those types of social media outlets. A year without Instagram. A month without Facebook (RIP). What seems like an eternity without Twitter (well, a personal and vulgar twitter like the one I used to stupidly have.) I am tired of feeding into the idea that I need people to approve of who I am or what I do as a means of the type of attention I am going to get online….so what if people don’t like you? I don’t like you either. Unless you like me, in which case, hey.

The plus about not having Instagram, is that you begin to do things you used to find fun before you decided staring at a tiny bright rectangle was more important than real life and conversations! Crazy right?!

(this is a few of the articles I liked a lot around this topic)
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/11/fashion/for-some-social-media-users-an-anxiety-from-approval-seeking.html?_r=0

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/selfie-obsession-made-teenager-danny-bowman-suicidal-9212421.html